Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Is it sad that I still sort of think of today as "The Day Torii Left Us?" (Thanks for forever tainting a National holiday for me, man)
Things I am Thankful For Today:
-The newly released Twins Spring Training schedule
-Nick Punto
-Cotton Candy Milkshakes
-Inter-league Play
-This picture:
Congratulations Joe Mauer on a well deserved first MVP award.
Keizo Konishi--you kind of suck. And that's all I'm going to say about that.
Also filed under things that suck: Miguel Cabrera gets a $200,000 bonus for coming in 4th in the voting, and Joe Mauer gets $100,000 for winning the darn thing. Hopefully we will just tack another $100,001 on to his gigantic contract offer to make up for it.
I know, I know. Important interesting baseball-y things have been happening, and I have been woefully absent. Mea culpa.
Those Girls would like to take a moment to officially declare our displeasure with the whole Brian Buscher situation. As many of you know, our favorite motto is "Um, We Like Brian Buscher, Actually." So, hearing the news today that the Twins have outrighted Brian to Rochester. Which means that he will become a minor league free agent shortly after the World Series ends.
It's kind of an understatement to say that we are unhappy with this development. And I am stubbornly disinterested in hearing any arguments about this being even a remotely good thing. The heart wants what it wants, dammit.
It's a dark day.
In other slighly happier news, Chase Utley is making history with the whole being really good at baseball thing during this World Series. I, obviously, credit his very public love of puppies for all of his professional success this off-season.
I hope his success leads more professional athletes to declare strong pro-puppy positions.
I would still like to see the Phillies squeak out a Series win, but last night I found myself feeling just a little bit disappointed that the stupid thing is going to last at least one more game. I'm sorry, but the Yankees and Phillies are extremely poor substitutes for Glee on the FOX Wednesday night line-up.
I bought my Johan Santana Hallmark Keepsake Ornament yesterday.
He's pretty adorable, and I heart him.
My goal now is to figure out how to fashion a teeny tiny miniature Twins jersey for him before he goes on my Christmas tree.
If LeVar Burton says it, I think we need to listen.
Of course, this comment also makes me want to yell things like "Jordie LaForge could've called that correctly! ......WITHOUT the visor!" at the umpires.
A year ago the Phillies were the villains, stealing a shiny ring away from our beloved Jason Bartlett and his heartworming Tampa Bay Rays teammates.
This year the Phillies are the closest thing we have to white hatted good guys.
And looking at these CNN poll results this morning:
It looks like a lot of people are subscribing to the ABTY baseball philosophy this year. Anyone But The Yankees. [The other 36% is made up of real Yankees fans, random d-bags, and professional sports journalists. --AND Wolverine, apparently. Say it ain't so!]
Except for Metsgrrl, who I believe is subscribing to her "let's hope a meteor hits the stadium" philosophy. That is also a valid life choice.
I don't think my interest in this match-up is going to ever rise above "Maybe I'll check the score online purely out of morbid curiosity." So...the part of the year where I stop watching baseball and start counting the days til pitchers and catchers report begins a little bit early this year.
Twins fans, it could be worse. At least Stub Hub is not sending US painful salt-in-the-wound email oopsies like this one:
I read it, and thought "C'mon now...That's just MEAN."
Apparently Stub Hub realized this eventually, and sent this out a little later:
Yes, Stub Hub, this WAS unfortunately a mistake.
I guess someone at Stub Hub didn't realize that there are actually TWO baseball teams in Pennsylvania.
If you're going to market sports to people who love sports, you should probably hire folks who have at least a passing knowledge of what's going on in sports right now. Just a thought.
ATLANTA--The scene at the Turner Entertainment Networks headquarters was a tense one. Executives huddled together around the big screen television in the main conference room. As game 4 of the Phillies/Rockies wound down, you could feel the excitement building. And when the final out was recorded, the room erupted.
Dozens of champagne bottles were wheeled in, and then the festivities really heated up. Between champagne showers,TNT President Steven Koonin was quoted as saying “It’s a really proud day here for us. TBS could not be more pleased with this outcome. You know, we started to get excited after St. Louis lost, but we just didn’t want to jinx anything. Once Minnesota lost, well, it really felt like something magical was happening, although we knew we still had a big battle ahead of us. But today, watching Colorado get knocked out, there just aren’t words enough to describe how special this is.”
Donald Trembly, an associate in the advertising sales department, echoed his boss’s relief and joy. “You know, I think you always need to be a little worried. I mean, it just seems like every year, one of those small loser fly-over teams sneaks in there and really ruins things for us. They’re scrappy. I’ll give them that. But you know what? At the end of the day, scrappy just don’t sell avocados. Booyah!“
Even the interns got in on the celebrations. Rookie Chaz McMurphy was practically in tears. “You dream of something like this your whole life. I almost can’t believe it’s happening to me. I’m 21 years old, and I’m already going to be able to shill basic cable George Lopez programming to the largest possible audience I can imagine. I’m just so proud to be a part of this special team. This is just unreal. Excuse me…I need to call my mom.”
Of course, across the country at the FOX Broadcasting Company, the celebrations were going equally strong. Linda Price, a FOX executive, toasted the Big Market Sweep by admitting that for days she “woke up in cold sweats, after having nightmares about a Twins-Rockies World Series.”
It was 3 (well, 4, really) more games of baseball than we expected. So there's THAT.
But I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Twins baseball just yet anyway.
So...poop.
So, judging by myself and all of my Twins Twitter friends during Wednesday night's game, we all hate the TBS announcers with varying degrees of venom.
When you love a team, and know more about them than you know about several members of your extended family, it's tough to listen to a broadcast team who seems to be starting with a baseline knowledge of approximately zero. When your team also happens to be playing the Yankees, things get a little vomit inducing. Like when they suggested that actually, having a kagillion dollar payroll and being a successful team in the largest media market in the country is just such "a burden."
Yes, poor lil' fellas. Tell it to the team on the field who got 3 hours of sleep the night before and most of whom are making close to the league minimum salary.
Anyway, to cope, you have to see the funny. I subscribed to MLB's postseason.tv to watch the tie-breaker at work while the dvr worked overtime at home. It's fixed angle camera feeds (you can choose up to 4 angles to watch out of 9....2 of which are dugout cameras, yay!) with the TBS broadcast audio feed. Since it was the first night of postseason.tv functionality, I think they were still working out the bugs. For example, for most of the game, the audio feed didn't cut away during commercial breaks. So I was able to hear how ridiculous the guys sounded trying to frantically search for random statistics they could lead off with after the break, desperately trying to make them sound meaningful. There were a lot of conversations like this:
3rd inning: "Hey, if we go back to last year, the Twins haven't scored in 11 innings of tie-break games!" "Yeah! That's a great one! Let's go with that!"
"Wait, wait, wait! What's that helmet Joe Mauer wears? Is that like an '80s helmet or something? I bet it is. That would make a great bit. Somebody find out!"
And of course, when the Tigers scored 3 runs, there was all of the preparation for the next series. Who the Tigers will be pitching first against the Yankees, etc. Ha. Gotcha that time, TBS.
So, since I can only assume that their commercial break prep work involves Googling, maybe they will find this post. So, I've compiled some of their favorite Twins information they will probably need at some point, all in one handy dandy spot. You're welcome, Chip.
First off, I would like to offer some condolences to Jim Leyland, the Tigers and their fans. Because I think we all remember how last year felt for us. It felt like horse-pucky. Sorry it came down to that guys. Nothing personal.
But damn, that was an awesome night.
And all of my happy dancing shouting and whatnot was not at all focused on gloating at the Tigers. That's bad karma. It was 100% celebration of our boys winning the AL Central against all odds and expectations.
I think they made that Top 100 Metrodome Moments list too early. Because last night has to rank up there. Top 15 at least.
And going against the odds and expectations was certainly the theme of the evening. If anyone had told me the game would come down to Bobby Keppel and Alexi Casilla, I would have giggled a little bit.
And win it they did. And I giggled a little bit about it.
The on-field and clubhouse celebrations are always the best part. Carlos Gomez's happiness is infectious. And the Rauch/Gardenhire man-hug is possibly one of my favorite visuals of the whole season so far.
But like the Twins, we can't focus too long on winning the Central, because we have to start looking to the Bronx without much of a breather.
For the remainder of the Twins' post-season, I am removing the word "realistically" from my vocabulary and my consciousness. It's an ugly word, and nothing I am ever interested in hearing follows it. It is the opposite of warm and fuzzy. It is cold and prickly. Who needs it?
So, whimsically, at this point I think folks are silly to write this team off right away. Because, clearly there is magic at work and it's crazy to deny it.
But I hope the Yankees fans keep writing them off, because historically, the Twins always perform at their absolute best with zero external expectations.
Yes, the 0-7 season series record against the Evil Empire is a more than daunting statistic. But THIS is not the same team who played the Yanks earlier this year. There's a certain mental toughness the team is playing with right now that we haven't seen in while. I swear Michael Cuddyer is willing the ball to go where he wants with just the power of his mind right now. And we've never seen THIS Delmon Young since he came to Minnesota. And the fact that Bobby Keppel got out of that bases loaded jam last night had supernatural mystical forces written ALL over it.
To quote Cuddy's clubhouse speech: "Let's drink it up and go get the Yankees!"
Last year, after missing opportunities to put the division away (and Cleveland putting Juan Rincon in against the White Sox), I was a little disappointed that we HAD to play a tie-breaker. This year, after scorching through the end of the season like a team on fire, without Justin Morneau, I am thrilled that we GET to play a tie-breaker.
Last year, I was fightin' pissed that we lost home field advantage to a random toss of a coin, rendering our season series win pointless. This year I think we all feel vindicated that MLB righted that wrong and changed the rules. And now that the hometown crowds have been warming up their vocal cords and the Dome's insane acoustics for the past 4 days, I don't think the Tigers will know what hit them when they take the field.
Aside from the Gopher's tanking it, this has to go down as one of the most interesting weeks in sports Minnesota has seen.
I think my one request for this game, aside from the obvious winning, would be if we could possibly introduce Jared Allen to Miguel Cabrera tonight. I think that would be fun.
In spite of the cold, and in spite of the fact that it has approximately one bazillion calories, you had better believe I will be getting a Cold Stone Cotton Candy Milkshake for luck today.
I believe in magic.
Here's some pics from last weekend just for kicks:
Sweet Farewell to the Metrodome Souvenir.
Thank You, Jeff Manship, for getting it done.
Thank You, Zack Greinke for NOT getting it done. 
Nick Blackburn is clearly our go-to guy.
Hello Boof. It's good to see you again.
Joe Nathan and I have worked through our trust issues.
We cannot believe our little Malt Cup Kid is old enough to sell beer now!
The Last regular-season Dome Dog.
The count down's over. Sort of. Having Kirby Jr. there was pretty special.Those Girls are thoroughly enjoying our last weekend at the Dome.
We ALWAYS enjoy the last weekend home series, but obviously, this one is special.
More than special, actually. After today, I'm willing to go ahead and call it magic.
I think we were all a little wary of going into a matchup against Greinke, but I knew it was going to be a great day as soon as we got into the Dome. Magic started right away. I got a batting practice ball and Boof was back in town, shagging balls in his customary spot in the outfield. Honestly, I kind of chalked the day into my own personal win column before the first pitch was thrown. Boof is my favorite, and having him back (sort of) finally made the season seem right to me. Better late than never. Clearly this is what threw my season off. Not finding a suitable temporary replacement baseball boyfriend really forced me to get my needs met with other teams this season, and that's just not right.
Anyway, I'm much better now.
And the game was pretty awesome too.
I have spent much of the last few weeks saying things like "this is NOT the AL Central of 2006" in spite of the Tigers/Twins scoreboard watching grudgematch. But I will admit that now I'm having a touch of Deja Vu. It definitely feels like we are replaying that last game scenario of '06. A promising but green and inconsistent young pitcher gets passed over for an equally inconsistent but much older pitcher when the final game of the season rurns out to actually mean something afterall. Except the role of Scotty Baker will now be played by Brian Duensing, and the role of Carlos Silva will now be played by Carl Pavano. And that's not me complaining (in spite of my well-documented dislike and distrust of one former Mr. Milano), I mean, that day turned out pretty well.
However tomorrow turns out, all of the players on our team now have at least experienced what a playoff atmosphere at the Dome is like anyway. Today's supersized crowd was loud and pround, and tomorrow it's going to be even crazier. Plus there will be Homer Hankies!
I do feel a little bad about needing to beat up on the Royals though. I get the same feeling as I do when I visit the dog shelter and can't bring all the poor homeless puppies home with me. I hope the Royals know it's not personal. Especially Billy Butler and Zack Greinke. I had to shelve my Butler/Greinke love for the weekend....but I promise that once this is over, things will go back to normal.
Of course, to top off the evening, Jen from Lipgloss & Baseball and I wound up walking right behind Jose Mijares at the Mall of America. Now, of all the players we could randomly stumble upon, Jose Mijares wouldn't be my FIRST choice....especially today. But hey, it is what it is. And it did lead to an awesome Those Girls phone conversation:
Me, whispering: Guess what I'm doing right now!
Casey: What!?
Me: Walking behind Jose Mijares at the Mall of America!
Casey: Have you gone up to him and blurted out something random and embarrassing yet?
Me: um...No....
Casey: That's weird. And very unlike you.
I didn't bother Jose Mijares though. But there was this weird awkward part where for some reason we all kept walking back and forth around each other, like 5 times because apparently none of us in either party knew where we were going. In hindsight, I clearly should have broken up the awkward cycle with a friendly offer of a fist bump.
Mostly just because I think that would have been the most amusing conclusion to the anecdote.
"And then I fist bumped Jose Mijares. The End."
To the concerned folks who've emailed me, and those that have commented here, thanks....and I'm fine. I'm not dead... or maimed, even. And the other day, my mother even admonished me for neglecting this blog. That's when I know things are BAD.
I can't remember if I've blogged this before....but a while ago I serendipitously had a lovely conversation with an MLB insider who was visiting the Metrodome for the first time. I shared with him my knowledge of the Metrodome and the Minneapolis/St. Paul area, and he shared with me some MLB dirt. Like, Gossip Girl style dirt. It was good times.
I forgot another silver lining to having an overall godawful season....
No Morneau OR Kubel.
Brendan Harris batting clean up.
Pavano/Humber/Crain on the mound, all of whom require you to bust out a second hand (and in Humber's case, a foot) if you want to count up their ERA's on your fingers.
We let Texas steal approximately 73 bases.
And we still won.
THAT's the sort of game we've all been missing. I hope everyone enjoyed it!
I particularly like Good-At-Baseball-Delmon-Young. I know, I know....Mauer Mauer blah blah blah. Yes, he's good. He's really good. But sometimes it's fun to let Delmon Young be the hero too. I like a good redemption story. And I like to feel good happy warm fuzzy feelings about Delmon Young because he gets left out a lot, and I feel sad for him. I mean, I'd take Jason Bartlett back for him in a heartbeat, but aside from that, I feel sad for him. [And honestly, I'd take Jason Bartlett back in trade for a couple family members too....so Delmon shouldn't take that too personally.]
As for Texas, I like that Borbon kid. I really like him. How fun to watch is he?! Maybe that's why we let him steal 3 bases. Maybe Joe Mauer and Carl Pavano were just dazzled by his awesomeness and stunned into inaction.
And I feel bad that Texas dropped back down to tie with the BoSox for the wild card. I'm not really sad that we won....I mean, throw us a bone, you know? But I'm mostly sad that Boston won. I really want to see the Rangers in the playoffs.
I would really like the Twins to win again today, so I'm going to concentrate on jinxing the Red Sox. If there was a way to make a loss count double for them, that would be cool.
Every cloud has a silver lining. So I have a list of positive effects of this quickly tanking dull and lifeless '09 Twins season.
